I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
