got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
