I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
