I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The power of my boobs compel you
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
