She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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