I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
