Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
