I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
