4 words: hood of his car
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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