Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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