i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
