Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
