Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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