i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
