Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
