he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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