dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize