I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
