I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
