Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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