Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
