Where did you get a picture of my penis
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
