Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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