do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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