My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
