just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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