I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
