There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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