last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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