you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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