What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
