I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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