I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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