He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
