Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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