Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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