Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
