Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
