its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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