I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
