im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
