We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
