My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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