your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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