brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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