I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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