i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
