Sponge bath it is.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
