Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I don't think brook has ever known best
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
