It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
