Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
