take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
