How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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