You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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