ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
