If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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