Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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